Balloon Losing Air

from This is Why by Atwood

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lyrics

Lately I feel like a balloon losing air
Trying to pretend that this hole isn’t there
The truth is I’m sinking and feeling kind of scared
When my lungs are exhausted I’ll still be tied to this chair

This knot that you left me will never go away,
Like a car that has me pinned to a tree that won’t give way
It’s what holds me together and kills me just the same
Not now and then, but every day

Well not now and then, but every day

Maybe I’m wrong and it’s all in my head
But when she’s talking I hear your voice instead
And that’s why my patience was as thin as a thread
When I freaked out and left cause of what she said

If you were to come back then baby I swear
I’d be a good little Christian; I’d say all my prayers
There’d be no use for my drinking or these pointless affairs
It’s my dysfunctional way to keep unaware

My dysfunctional way to keep unaware

I’ve been scared of turning this page
So many things that I’ll never say
But if death should turn my way
Blinding light, just take me away

Someday I’ll call you and play a mean questionnaire
And the sound of my voice will bring you to tears
And suddenly the pain will be too much to bear
And you’ll whisper the words, “Baby come here”

Drinking coffee late thinking, and all I know
Is that lies will keep you warm when the truth makes you cold
So I make up these stories where you come home
Being crazy feels better than being alone

Yeah being crazy feels better than being alone

And I don’t have the words to spare
For these things that I’m trying to share
I’ve been trying to take care
‘Cause I’m a balloon losing air

credits

from This is Why, released March 24, 2012

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Atwood Tucson, Arizona

The product of a lot of alcohol and self-pity.

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